Priceless

 PRICELESS

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!'

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, 'Son, what happened last night?' His son says, 'Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door'. Confused, the man asks, 'So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!'

His son replies, 'Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, 'LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!'

Moral 

Self-induced hangover - Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture - Rs. 20, 000.00
Breakfast - Rs. 100.00

Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS 

There are some things that money can't buy ...

A Lot Did Happen Over Coffee (maker)

It was Wed Oct 12, '11, I had reached the terminal 3 (T3) of the Delhi airport rather too early to catch flight to Pune. After the check-in and security-check I had good enough time to have a cup of coffee and a sandwich.   

And soon I found myself at the CCD Square (Travel Food Services Delhi T3 Pvt Ltd ) Now a friend of mine who visited us from Bangalore a few days ago had gifted us a bag of fine coffee.  This in mind I decided to buy Espresso Maker, displayed on the counter.  The sales persons (a boy and a girl) were very helpful. Between three of us we selected one for me to buy.

Upon reaching home at about 7 p.m. first thing that I did was to brew a fresh coffee.  Alas the bottom chamber had a hole in it and there was no immediate plan to pass through T3.  I checked the web-site of CCD got phone numbers of CCD outlets in Pune.  I called the nearest one, at Aundh. The person who picked up the phone had no clue as what to do.  But said he will get back to me.  In the meantime I also placed a complained via their web-link.  The Pune guy called to say that he has not authority but if he gets an instruction from the higher-authorities he would be happy to replace it.

Well then I got busy with my work.  I had two options. One to show the Espresso Maker the dustbin or two repair it myself, I could have actually plugged the hole which was less than half a millimetre.  Anyway, since I was short of time to work in the workshop I decided to send an email to the CCD office.

Next day on Friday, Oct 14, ’11, Devahuti Gangwani repled to my mail. The mail was copied to Kashi Rajan and Anil. It was a very cordial mail asking for the details of purchase etc. and if I can be called over phone etc.  After one or two more email exchanges it was promised that the coffee maker would be replaced in the following week.  But I was going to travel again from 16^th.  I offered to exchange the coffee maker myself from CCD outlet.  But NO, I should not take that trouble a good one will be delivered at home, I was told.

Then on Monday 17^th Oct,  Puneet from Pune (I was in Jalna then) called on my cell, asked for suitable time for the exchange, took the direction to my home.

When I returned home, a brand new Stove Top Coffee Maker, beautifully packed was waiting for me.

Soon I made some coffee for myself and since then twice a day I am enjoying my Coffee. Indeed a lot had happened over coffee.

Thank you Devahuti Gangwani, Kashi Rajan, Anil and Puneet for taking all the trouble you did. Every time I have my coffee I remember you.

And a BIG thank you CCD for having such nice staff who takes care of their customers.

A suggestion to CCD -
It would help to have link on the web pages like this one. 

Ancient Indian Mathematics : An Introduction and An Appriciation

By 

Ramatosh Sarkar 

Birla Planetarium, Culcutta

(this article was found in old papers of Dr N C Rana.  

People who have read the Bible know that a part of it, that is referred to as the Gospel according to St. John, commences with the following observations. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." What precisely St. John wanted to convey through that statement, taken as a whole, may be a matter of interpretations and differing opinions, but the first part of it surely permits a straight-forward interpretations the truth of which - in the context of man - is indubitable. "In the beginning was the Word".
For man, in fact, the first and foremost thing has been the 'the Word' - i.e. his language. The fact that he can form ideas in his mind,

फळे

साभार....डॉ. हेमंत सहस्त्रबुद्धे
आपण उपवासाला फळे का खाल्ली जातात ते पाहू या.
उपवासाला फळे यासाठी खाल्ली जातात की फलाहारात पाणी असले तरी ते संतुलित प्रमाणात असते. फळे खाल्याने जास्त तहान लागत नाही. पाणी सुद्धा शरीराला पचवावेच लागते. इथे हे नमूद करावेसे वाटते की "गार" पाण्यापेक्षा "गरम" पाणी पचतेही लवकर आणि पचनाला मदत सुद्धा क...रते. "गरम" पाण्याने वायू सरकतात. पोट साफ रहाण्यास मदत होते. फळातले पाणी शरीराला पचवण्याचा वेगळा ताण देत नाहीत. त्यातील "Enzymes " म्हणजेच "विकर" हे पचनाला अतिशय उपयुक्त असतात. म्हणून एरवीही उपास नसताना "फळे" ही जेवणानंतर नाही तर जेवणा आधी खावीत म्हणजे त्यातील या "Enzymes " मुळे शरीरात अन्न पचवण्यास पोषक असे वातावरण तयार होऊन अन्न नित पचते. त्यातील ग्लुकोज, फ्रुक्टोज वगैरे शर्करा म्हणजेच साखर ह्या पुर्वपाचीत असतात. म्हणजेच फळ खाल्ले की अतिशय कमी श्रमात ते शरीराला फायदा करून देते. त्यातील "Minerals " म्हणजेच विविध क्षार आणि जीवनसत्वे हे अतिशय योग्य प्रमाणात आणि शरीरातील आवश्यक घटकांची पूर्ती करणारे असतात.
तसेच "प्रत्येक" ऋतू मध्ये येणारी फळे ही त्या वातावरणाला साजेशी म्हणजेच त्या ऋतूतील त्या वातावरणात शरीराला आवश्यक अशीच असतात. उदा. उन्हाळ्यात येणारा आंबा आणि त्याचे रूप कैरी...ही आवश्यक आहे उन्हाळ्यात घामाने खूप जास्त क्षार शरीराबाहेर जाऊन येणार्या थकव्यावर...कैरीतील "आम" म्हणजेच "Acid " आणि भरपूर क्षार शरीराचा थकवा पटकन घालवतात. म्हणूनच भरपूर गूळ, मीठ, वेलदोडा[ पाचक] घातलेले पन्हे उन्हातून आल्यावर घेतले की कसे गारेगार आणि समाधानी वाटते. आम्बरसाने तरुणांना आवश्यक शक्ती पटकन मिळते. हिंदू धर्मात ठायी ठायी माणसाचे शरीर, समाज, निसर्ग, खगोल, भूगोल....आणि बरेच काही याचा सतत विचार केला आहे आणि ते धर्माच्या नुसत्या गोड नाही तर पाचक गोळीतून हिंदू धर्मियांना दिले आहे.
शिवाय निसर्गोपचार शास्त्रानुसार आंबट फळे की ज्यात "Acid " असते ती दुधाबरोबर खावीत...उदा. संत्री, मोसंबी, लिंबू वगैरे...की ज्यामुळे दुध पचते. हा पण दुधात घालून त्याचे "फ्रुट सलाड" करून नाही...तर दुध घेण्याआधी किंवा दुध घेतल्या नंतर. तसेच गोड फळे ही ताका बरोबर खावीत. उदा. चिकू, केळी वगैरे...इथे आंबा हा गोड असला तरी या नियमाला अपवाद आहे. तो मात्र दुधाबरोबर खायचा असतो. दुधाबरोबर आंबा खाल्याने तो उत्तम पचतो आणि उष्ण पडत नाही. शिवाय अनेक फळे ही त्या त्या परदेशातील विशिष्ट हवामानानुसार तेथे येत असतात. निसर्गाने ही माणसाची करून ठेवलेली उत्तम सोयच आहे. उदा. नारळ, तिळ आणि राई. ही अनेक गोष्टीत वापरली जाणारी पण "तेल" बनवण्यासाठी वापरली जाणारी फळे किंवा तेलबिया पाहिल्या तर "नारळ" हे थंड आणि त्याच्या पाण्यात सगळे क्षार, जीवनसत्वे [त्यात फक्त Acid नाही म्हणून नारळ पाण्यात लिंबू पिळून घेतल्यास त्याची परिणामकारकता वाढते. ] आणि गरात भरपूर पिष्टमय पदार्थ आणि प्रथिने असलेले असे हे अमुल्य फळ अत्यंत उष्ण आणि दमट हवामान असलेल्या कोंकण किनारपट्टी, केरळ, कर्नाटक, आंध्र प्रदेश आणि तामिळनाडू या पंच द्रविड प्रदेशात मोठ्या प्रमाणात उगवते. आणि त्याचा फार मोठ्या प्रमाणात वापर येथे केला जातो उष्ण आणि दमट हवेने शरीर पिचते. खंगते. येथे नारळ अतिशय उपयुक्त आहे. मध्य, पूर्व आणि उत्तर महाराष्ट्र, दक्षिण मध्य प्रदेश, गुजराथ या भागात शेंगदाणा आणि तिळ ही तेलबियांची पिके होतात. यांची तेले येथल्या "समशीतोष्ण" हवेत पोषक आहेत. तर उत्तर मध्य प्रदेश पासून वरील जवळ जवळ सगळ्या थंड हवामानाच्या प्रदेशात "राई" सारखे उष्ण तेल वापरले जाते. आणि ते तेथे उत्तम उगवते देखील.
म्हणून उपवासाला ज्यांची पचनशक्ती चांगली आहे त्यांच्यासाठी केळी, चिकू, आंबा ही फळे उपयुक्त आहेत तर दुर्बल पचन असलेल्यांना संत्री, मोसंबी, सफरचंद, बोरे, पपई ही फळे अतिशय उपयुक्त आहेत. पपयीची फळे आणि "पाने" देखील "प्रोटीन" च्या पचनासाठी अतिशय उपयुक्त आहेत. "जांभळे" हल्ली इकडे तिकडे वाचून "मधुमेही" लोकांना उपयुक्त आहेत हे तर सगळ्यांना माहित झाले आहे. पण ती एकतर उपाशीपोटी खाऊ नये आणि जास्त प्रमाणात खाऊ नये नाहीतर ती "उपाया" पेक्षा "अपायच" जास्त करतात. असो या "फळ पुराणाचे " "फळ" सर्वाना मिळो ही प्रार्थना देवाकडे करून ही साठा उत्तरांची कहाणी पाचा उत्तरी सु"फळ" संप्रूण[संपूर्ण].

Peanuts, bus driver and the old lady

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks,

"Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

Shepherd guesses young man's profession

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt.The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay." The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."
The shepherd cheers,"That's correct, you can have your sheep."
The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"
The young man answers, "Yes, why not".
The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant ".
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business...

Now can I have my DOG back?"

As told by Sukanta Bose